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**Another random post. I just wanna post my thoughts about him**

A scheduled trek to Masungi Geo reserve was set. I found someone to replace her since she was no longer joining us. She was replaced by my work-mate. We were a group of 7 but only 5 of us met at a common point. My former manager and her friend met us there, and was introduced to each other. That was how simple we met.

It was dawn and I was not able to see him clearly. But being me, I greeted him with a normal tone. While waiting for my friend’s boyfie, madam and I were the usual us. And so when her boyfie arrived, we started our trip to Rizal. There was more light now, and so I clearly saw him from the mirror. 

He has this irresistable eyes. Eyes that sparkle from my point of view. A pointed nose that I envy and a smile that would make anyone smile too. He is tall and “huggable”.

Two members of group were late and so we waited for them. While waiting, the ice broke and conversations were freely made. Laughters and stories were starting and I was feeling happy. Happy that I can feel the real happiness this time. 

After 2 hours of waiting, finally! The 2 arrived. And so we started our trek. During the trek, our group took a lot of pictures – solo and group ones. On one of my solo shots, he would usually photo bomb and I found it cute. I was not annoyed. Who would be annoyed with someone who you can’t resist to look at anyway. 

The trail took 4 hours. 4 hours of rope climbing and a little obstacles were more fun because of our group’s jolly attitude. The last obstacle was already easy for us and we all landed on a giant swing made with ropes. The group had a few minutes of rest and the 5 left. I was left with him. I guess, we just chose to stay longer. It was a quiet place where anyone could relax and be still. There was silence and you could breathe in fresh air. I was infront of him. The only conversation we had was our length of stay in our work. Then kept silent and chose to be with the group again. Well, I growing shy. I can’t deny the fact that I find him to be an ideal partner. His looks are a bonus, but his kindness, wit and humor got me. 

Our day ended with a mass. It was ash wednesday. Most of us were catholics. After mass, there was a build up of people coming in and out of the church. There, he grasped my shoulder a little and when there was space, he again distanced himself. My heart skipped a beat for a moment and smiled after.

On one of our conversations at the falls, he asked where I lived so he can drop me off near my house and then my friend suggested to drop me at my house. And that was when I was given an idea to have dinner in our place. After all, it was so much effort.

And there, he met my parents.

We’re still talking now and I’ve met his parents already, too. 

Can this blossom into something  a lot like love and happily ever after? Or will this be just another chapter of my life?

We can never tell. But I like him. I hope he likes me back too.

The rest is still an unwritten mystery that is yet to unfold.

No Regrets, Just LOVE.

The process was surprising. It was faster than I thought it would be. Yes, I still miss you sometimes, but everytime I do, I am reminded of your lies and dishonesty.

Letting go was not easy but I had to. It was a decision for myself to be happy again. Now I realized that I only miss the way it used to be but have accepted the fact that things will never be the same again.

Happiness is what I long for after our break up. There I learned that if I allow myself to let go of the hurts and accept the truth, better things are coming.

My road to finding a new love and getting myself intact again was pretty easy with friends and family. The trail my friends and I took led me to the reason of my fast recovery, I guess. It led me to someone that makes me smile now. It led me to someone who I think before I sleep and the moment I wake up. He is now the reason why I smile with just the thought of seeing him. The reason of my happiness after a storm as what others would say. 

He makes me laugh so hard with even a simple joke. He made me feel secure with a simple gesture and he makes me happy without trying.

But no, aren’t dating – not yet. HAHA! How I wish we would. He’s single after all. Meeting his parents and sister and cousin was one of my uneasy days. We’ve only met a few days and I was already introduced! 

What we have is uncertain yet. With all the love I have, I hope I won’t jump into conclusions first but enjoy this single life has to bring.I am regaining the connection I lost with my dearest friends while I was so inlove with you.

Thank you for forgetting me that led me to leave us. Thank you for all the pain – it made me be free from lies and heart aches. Thank you.

I’ll still miss you one of these days, maybe. I’ll continue to put checks on my or our bucketlists but this time, without you around. 

Till then, melon shake. Know that I am happy now even if your with someone else now. I am happy that she makes you happier than I did. 

No regrets.

Test Of Strength

Messed up thoughts. Sorry, I just want to let these out. I am just in the mood to scribble words and not really to write something worth reading.

The balance of the Yin and Yang

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Lately, you told me we are a tag team. But this was my secret – I felt that we were this for a time. We were a balance of the yin and yang until one day, you chose to walk away.

These past few days of not talking to you is heart breaking.

People see me as a strong person, when in fact, I hide my deep emotions, I try so hard to look and be fine without you. As I know you are doing just fine without me. Questions like, how could throw everything away in an instant are still confusing me. How do you do it?

Day by day, I try to balance everything – family, work, friends and life. Balancing it has never been this hard. Every time, I have a good or bad news, I always think of you. I think of sharing it to you – as what we have always done before all these pain started. Every time I wake up, I always check my heart if it is still in a good condition. I talk to myself and try so hard to forget of letting you know that I am already awake and tell you I love you.

I never thought you’d not keep your promise. I thought you’d prove me wrong, but you proved me right. And that’s not a good idea.

I think, my head is doing a good job in reminding me that our love story has already ended. My mind keeps on telling me that you have chosen to break my heart. But my heart is still struggling to obey what my mind is telling me. My heart still wants to see you, hug you and be with you. I know we’ll never be the same again; I just hope and wish that we can be as how we started – normal persons who would communicate with each other.

Again, I still miss you. But this has to stop. And you, not talking to me is your way of helping me get over you. Thank you, for letting me be in this situation again. Thank you.

She broke my heart, but I miss her

My Joy.

My Jxxxxx

My Jxx xx xxx xxxxx


I miss the forehead I kiss before I sleep. The same forehead that easily gets hot but cools down with a simple tiny little kiss. I miss those little eyes so inlove with me. I miss her pointed nose that I love to play. I miss her cheeks that I love to pinch. Those cheeks that I kiss after a massive force for being so cute. I miss her lips that I  kiss after a fight, sweet surprise, or sometimes even after a tiring day. I miss her face.


I miss our tight hugs. The same brisk arms that hug me through a long cold night. Those hugs that I need now. The hug that no one can replace. The hug that I’d always want and I always crave for. The tight hug that know wouldn’t happen again.


I miss our crazy talks. Our crazy gestures and crazy nothings. It was crazy but when I reminisce them, I find them sweet. I miss our dance crazes. I miss our silly walks. I miss her presence and I miss the way we used to be

.

Couple of days without communication with her already feels like a month. How long can I take? How long will my pain be? Until when will I feel this pain of missing her? Of wanting to be with her?


I just hope that one day, when I think of her and stumble on to this, I’d smile and just miss her but not a single pain will be felt. I still hope that the damages done will be restored and be a lesson learned.


This too, shall pass

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Inhale. Exhale.

Just when I thought of the hardships I am to face, I saw that photo. It reminded me of how tough I have to be. My emotions are currently messed up, my life is not organized but I know that, this is how life is. It gets tougher so you got to keep up.

My thoughts of you still lingers sometimes, but as what everyone says, it is normal. I may not have so much faith in my resilience but my friends does. They remind me of things they see in me but I do not see in myself. Then I realized, they’re the people I do not like to fail. They are the people who has always backed me up when ever love has knocked me down.

This day, I’ll try my best to stop thinking of ways to hurt myself. If I was her choice, then it could have been from the start. Because of her, I have questioned myself again. She made me feel the pain you promised she’ll never do. She took the self confidence I’ve got. She broke my heart I had repaired for a long period of time. I won’t deny the fact that I still miss her. Owing to the fact that it is inevitable to miss a person you shared so much with. A person who has been with you during the darkest days of your life. That is why I don’t think that I could erase her and our memories as easy as what she has done.

Hoping that one day, when if we ever meet again, I can truly smile back at you and thank you for leaving me with a tough end but made me tougher.

To the girl who broke my heart 

You have suddenly cut our communication in a snap. So, this gonna be how I would like to pour it out.

First of all, thank you again. I really can’t thank you enough for all the joys you brought to my life.  Thank you for all the efforts and time spent. Thank you for every wish granted, every favor granted and every crazy sweet memories spent. Thank you so much.


Our love story is not the typical love story you’ll ever read or watch. What is typical is the fights and lies. But I guess it was something worth fighting for .It was something more than I expected.


We had our ups and downs but we never gave up. Until a lie was made. Your promise of forever vanished into the skies that even the clouds couldn’t see. Your promises were something I held on to. But is now about to lose it.


I love you so much, so much that I could feel and hear my bones break every time I miss you, your tight hugs and gentle kiss. And on this very day, you have not communicated with me already. I wanna know why. I want to know how can you take all your promises away? I want to know why you did not keep your promises again? Do you know how hard it is for me to wait in vain? Do you know how hard this is for me?


But I guess, our love story is just like those with sad endings. Ours was not destined to last. I hope that someday, if we ever cross our paths again, I hope you’d remember me and miss me. Miss the way it was when we were still together.

As what they say, everything happens for a reason. You came into my life and left me with unanswered questions. But still, thank you. Thank you so much.


Till then Baby Melon Shakey. I am sorry for all my mistakes and shortcomings. I am sorry for you leaving me broken. I don’t know why I am sorry about it but I am. Till next time, my baby tiger, baby bababatman, baby batman and baby love. I’ll always miss you. I’ll always miss our tight hugs and crazy moments.

YOU.

This blog will be mostly for the achings of my heart. My thoughts of her and for her..

Until I get over her and start posting other thoughts. Thoughts that would not be possible if she did not choose to disregard me. 

Even if I’ll miss her, my love, care and thoughts for her and about her will already be hidden and need not be told.

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